i am not sure what is happening
i think it is time
i started packing my books and drawings
i left them at my studio apartment
i made sure to deface and dispose of dozens of my handwritten journals, to delete my notes that were locally saved on all my electronics
i made it so if they ever break into the apartment they would think that my place is tidy
this is not the end of the month
some people pack things to leave to another place
in my case…
My heart just skipped a beat
somehow it knew what i am going through
in my case i am thinking about leaving { redacted }
i am not sure but i have to stop being anxious about how things will be after i leave
since the world as i know it will { redacted }
i am not sure
i think i have to do it
a difficult mind state
light started disappearing
there was no hope left
no way to go forward
i have been living in a loop
nothing makes sense
she said, she needs people, the others
i couldn’t relate
there is only one way and one way straight
straight to Hell
it might hurt but i don’t have to think about it
in such circumstances, i stop my thoughts and go with the plan
a long time ago, a stranger told me on the train
when they fell they screamed but no one could help them because they were already falling
let my lack of voice be heard
have you experienced the void
I reside in the liminal
i can see the darkness but at the same time i try to breathe
like a prey that got caught in the fangs and claws of a wild beast
of existence of consciousness
so heavy on my frail body, a firm grip on my neck, i can hear the beast hissing and breathing, my teeth fell out of place, it is a strange feeling, i can feel the lower part of my face, yet my jaw and teeth feel scrambled, may be the beast ripped them off. may be this is what they call a shadow sensation, when people still feel the presence of their severed limb
a hellish nightmare
never ending as i wake up at each iteration
i loathe existing in such feeble state of affairs
There are consequences to one’s actions. And there certainly would be consequences to wrong actions. Dark they would be, and inescapable
FadingEther 